Exploring Self-Empathy in Empathy Circles
Speaker:  Tina Jones  (15 min) 

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Tina Jones

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Tina Jones, a conflict resolution expert, emphasized the importance of self-empathy, interpersonal conflict, and nonviolent communication (NVC) in fostering deep listening. She highlighted the need for intentional breathing and self-awareness, sharing her personal journey of learning self-empathy. Tina explained the empathy circle process, where individuals reflect back what they hear, promoting internal trust and understanding. She cited Carl Rogers, Marsha Rosenberg, and Mahatma Gandhi to underscore the significance of empathy, responsibility, and courage in personal growth and conflict resolution. Cara Wilson concluded by expressing gratitude for Tina's insights and the opportunity to engage in empathy and self-awareness.

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Outline

Introduction and Breathing Exercise

• Cara Wilson introduces Tina Jones, highlighting her expertise in conflict resolution and empathy circles.

• Tina Jones begins by thanking Cara and expressing gratitude for the invitation.

• Tina invites everyone to take a moment to slow their breath and focus on their presence, emphasizing the importance of breathing.

• She shares her personal experience of forgetting to breathe during busy mornings and the benefits of intentional breath work.
  
  

The Importance of Listening and Self-Empathy

• Tina discusses the significance of listening, not just to others but to ourselves, and the challenges of navigating inner and outer world connections.

• She quotes Carl Rogers on the feeling of being truly heard without judgment and introduces the concept of self-empathy.

• Tina explains that self-empathy involves turning inward with curiosity and care, especially during times of struggle.

• She shares her personal journey of learning self-empathy and the impact of neglecting it, leading to emotional detachment.
  
  

Interpersonal Conflict and Nonviolent Communication

• Tina describes interpersonal conflict as a tug of war between different parts of ourselves and the importance of self-empathy in managing it.

• She mentions her background as a strong black woman and the pressure to appear fine despite inner struggles.

• Tina introduces Marsha Goldberg's concept of nonviolent communication and its role in taking responsibility for our feelings and needs.

• She emphasizes the importance of self-empathy in recognizing and honoring our own feelings and needs.
  
  

Empathy Circles and Inner Disagreements

• Tina explains the empathy circle process, where one person speaks, and another reflects back what they heard, creating a space for deep listening.

• She describes how empathy circles help reconnect with parts of ourselves we've kept silent and the power of feeling heard.

• Tina shares personal experiences of how empathy circles have uncovered emotions she wasn't aware of, making her feel lighter.

• She quotes Mahatma Gandhi on the strength required for forgiveness and self-empathy, highlighting its courageous nature.

Nonviolent Communication Framework

• Tina outlines the four steps of nonviolent communication: observation, feeling, need, and request.

• She provides an example of how these steps can transform discomfort into clear understanding in an empathy circle.

• Tina emphasizes that empathy circles are about being present and open with ourselves and others, not about fixing each other.

• She concludes by thanking the audience for their presence and expressing gratitude for the opportunity to share her journey and experiences.