Otter.ai Summary

Bill Filler, a retired special education teacher, discussed his involvement with the empathy movement since 2017, including co-creating the Empathy Circle Facilitator Training. He emphasized the importance of empathic listening, sharing experiences from teaching at-risk students and the rapid establishment of therapeutic rapport in empathy circles. At the California State Democratic Convention, Filler and his team offered empathic listening, engaging diverse participants. He highlighted the need for more empathy in society, noting its potential to reduce violence and foster community. Filler invited others to join the empathy movement and participate in upcoming training sessions.

Action Items

• [ ] Post the link to the April 18 empathy circle facilitator training session in the meeting chat so attendees can access it.

Outline

Introduction of Bill Filler and His Background

• Janna Weiss introduces Bill Filler, highlighting his 30 years of experience as a special education teacher working with at-risk children.

• Bill Filler shares a personal anecdote about taking his students to the beach, emphasizing the joy and significance of such moments.

• Bill discusses his deep involvement with the empathy movement since 2017, co-creating the empathy circle facilitator training.

• He mentions his role as a member of the empathy center board of directors and his upcoming speech at the California State Democratic Convention.

The Empathy Circle and Its Impact

• Bill Filler explains the concept of the empathy circle, which aims to provide everyone with the experience of being heard and understood without judgment.

• He recounts his experiences teaching students in extreme circumstances, noting that every act, even violent ones, was a communicative act.

• By addressing the underlying issues, such as hunger or trauma, the frequency of violent acts decreased, and students began to understand that their needs could be met through words.

• The therapist involved in this work called this process "therapeutic rapport," which Bill equates to making an empathic connection.

Therapeutic Rapport and Its Broader Application

• Bill Filler describes the rapid establishment of therapeutic rapport in empathy circles, contrasting it with the time-consuming process for therapists working one-on-one.

• He emphasizes the need for more listening and understanding in society, suggesting that the empathy circle can be a first step towards building a shared community.

• At the California State Convention, Bill and his team offered mutual empathic listening to attendees, noting the diverse group of participants.

• He shares anecdotes about specific individuals they interacted with, highlighting the importance of empathy across different ages, political persuasions, and ethnicities.

Challenges and Opportunities in Promoting Empathy

• Bill Filler recounts an interaction with Adam Schiff, where the senator seemed uncomfortable with the idea of supporting the empathy movement.

• He reflects on the potential benefits of a society with more empathy, where leaders seek out new ideas guided by empathic experiences.

• Bill discusses the challenges of promoting empathy, including institutional blindness and the fear of change.

• He encourages the audience to join the empathy movement, offering practical ways to get involved, such as attending conventions, participating in empathy cafes, and taking online and in-person trainings.

Conclusion and Call to Action

• Janna Weiss thanks Bill Filler and his team for their efforts in promoting empathy at the Democratic Convention.

• Bill lists the members of his team, including Christine, William Kingsbury, and Joan, who also participated in the event.

• Janna emphasizes the shared humanity of all people and the importance of recognizing this to support the empathy movement.

• Bill concludes by inviting the audience to join the next training session and reiterating the need for empathy in building a better community.

Transcript Otter.ai

Janna Weiss  0:01  

Hi Bill. Thank you so much for being here. It's real joy to introduce Bill. Bill filler is a retired special education teacher. Is a who has worked with at risk children of all ages for over 30 years. He's been involved in the empathy circles since 2017 and he co created the empathy circle facilitator training with lose wire and Edwin Rutsch, and it's been holding training since March 2020, and he is a member of the empathy center board of directors.

 I paused over Special Ed because I was thinking to point out the children in the background, but I think you'll do that, Bill, thank you for being here, and you're going to be speaking on bringing the empathy movement message to the California state Democratic Convention.

Bill Filler  0:55  

Thank you. Thank you. Jenna, yeah, the picture behind me. You see is I was a special education teacher for almost 40 years, and the picture is sort of what my goal was, and that's just take my kids out to the beach and allow them to enjoy themselves. So that was a moment that I really treasured. And I when I see it, I treasure it all over again. 

So thank you. After almost eight years of deep involvement with the empathy movement and the empathy circle that is at its core, I occasionally get intuitional glimpses of what a more empathic culture would be like. The Empathy circle is a simple but profoundly effective technique whose goal is to provide everyone in the circle with the experience of being heard and understood but not judged. Try to think of the last time you had that experience. I don't think it's common. For 40 years, I taught students in extreme circumstances in danger of being hospitalized, imprisoned or being removed from their families. Frequently, these students were violent. 

The greatest lesson I learned is that every act, no matter how impulsive or violent, was a communicative act. At first I thought that it was hard to believe, but after our team debriefed the acting out incident, we found that the student hadn't been fed, saw a violent act or experience something else that upset them, when we could reflect our understanding of the student situation and try to address it, such as feed them, their violent acts declined significantly, and they started to understand that they can get their needs met through the words, as opposed to physical intimidation. 

The therapist we worked with called this therapeutic rapport, and you've talked about this in I think paramita talked about it, and other people, it's another word for making an empathic connection. But it also seems to me that we could use a really large dose of therapeutic rapport in our society as a whole right now. 

Early on in my involvement in the empathy circle, I was in a circle with a therapist, and they marveled at how quickly and efficiently therapeutic was. A rapport was established with everyone in the circle group. Remember, therapists are doing this one on one. It takes time, but within the period of, let's say, a half an hour to an hour, everyone in the group, not just dyads, were feeling that they'd kind of achieve that therapeutic rapport. So looking at the challenges that are facing us, there's no question in my mind that more listening and understand for understanding is exactly what we need. 

The question then becomes, what can we do to help spread the practice and start the healing the empathy circle can be a first step to give people a sense of shared community in which creative, humane solutions can emerge. At the California State Convention, a group of four of us sat at the table and offered mutual, empathic listening to all who wanted it. There are a handful of people who took us up on our offer. There are different ages, political persuasions and ethnicities, and now I'm going to share some of the slides from that. And where are you? There it is okay. And let's just go, okay, all right. And you can see that, let me expand it, all right, and we'll just do it this way.

Bill Filler  4:38  

Okay. So I want you to take a look at these people and kind of take a look at what might be the common denominator. And I think what you'll see is the common denominator is that they're all different. They're all different. They're different ages, different ethnic. Ethnicities, different, obviously, men and women.

Bill Filler  5:09  

And these are the people who would and this is the four of us giving some empathic listening. This is another woman, I think Ashley. She was very nice. We spent a long time talking to her. And these are the people. There's a young man who was really into it. He wanted to have, he insisted on having this picture with me. Won a t shirt too. These are very rare, okay? And finally we came in. There's Adam Schiff, us, senator from California, and Edwin was asking him to if he'd have a picture taken with the with I support an empathy movement. 

And he said, Well, I don't really know what that's about. And so anyway, I was just thinking of all of the pictures of people's private parts that are on the internet. I think there are millions. And I was running, you know, I support the empath. That's a bridge too far, you know, the the private part pictures, that's fine, but it was, you have to make a statement about empathy. We had a local reporter from a local station, KPIX, and he interviewed Edwin and I, and he seemed to think that we had a good idea, but His thing was, nobody was listening. He asked us, What could make people listen? 

Edwin replied that sometimes things have to get so bad for people to shake themselves from their complacency and search for some alternatives. Periodically, we'd walk around the hall to see if people would have their picture taken, as you've seen, and again, that was my but a lot of them said, Oh, I can't have that picture taken. I'm not allowed to take it. And it just seemed that this just was fear, unnecessary fear, and when I see that is what I call institutional blindness, we have arrived at a time when many of our institutions have lost touch with their purpose, amid sound bites, photo ops and naked greed. 

I handed one of our business cards to us, Senator Adam Schiff, a man I admire, and he seemed very uncomfortable. He didn't in those pictures, but when I handed him the business card, you know, he seemed really uncomfortable. I didn't take it personally. I'm sure he's constantly assaulted by all sorts of requests, and I don't know if I could be as gracious as he was under the same circumstances. In that moment, however, I got a glimpse of what it would be like to live in a society with more empathy, as opposed to whatever this is that we live in. Now, what I saw were leaders who sought out people with new ideas guided by their empathic experience.

 Imagine, if you will, being leader who doesn't have to worry about political violence soliciting funds for re election or smear campaigns, but can spend their time looking for people with new ideas. What effect would that have on the rest of us? I think it would encourage us to pitch in and to help build the community in which we would all like to live when people feel valued. They value their communities. This vision of a culture of empathy includes all of us. We've been to the California Republican state Republican convention as well, and demonstrations on both the left and the right. 

We attempt to get them into empathy circles. It doesn't always work, but when it does, both participants feel better. I know many of you will shake your heads and think that the Gulf is too wide, the scar is too deep. I can only tell you what I've seen, and that is when people feel heard and understood. They feel better, they feel valued, and they are ready to listen to others. How bad must it get? We don't have to find out if we just started to listen to each other. Those of you who hear these words and fear their pull can help. 

The Empathy movement is not promising some far off goal, but provides a short experience of what it actually would be like to live in the country culture with more empathy you can experience too later in this summit, as wiser people than I have said, Be the change you want to see. As for us, we'll be at the next convention, taking the empathy tent to the streets, holding online empathy cafes, online trainings, in person, trainings, and trying to help one more person to be heard, we invite you to join us, and I will put the link to the our next training in April 18 in the in the link, so in the chat. Sorry, that's it. Thank you.

Janna Weiss  9:58  

Thank you so much. Ben. No, thank you, Edwin and you. And who else went with you? The two of you. Who else was there?

Bill Filler  10:06  

Well, Christine, my partner, and William Kingsbury from the Santa Barbara chapter, and Joan was there too. And Joan was there too, yes, yeah,

Janna Weiss  10:15  

Edwin's partner, thank you for going to the Democratic Convention and for promoting empathy. And the people are all different, and they all have a shared humanity, and they all support the empathy movement, and that's what we all really need to recognize. I think, I think that was the message. Thank you so much for doing that and for holding a candle in this darkness. Thank you.